okay… the bbc marriage retreat recap

i can’t even say how refreshing it was to go to the marriage retreat. I told brian that for my b-day all i wanted was a chance for the two of us to get away and spend some time together. We had been planning on going to a b&b, but unfortunately our plans had to be put on hold because of Brian’s job situation. so this was more than a blessing for me… it was an answer to prayer. We were spoiled to stay in a nice hotel and spend the weekend laughing and playing together AND we got to learn more about living a Godly marriage. So here are some of the main points that i learned about marriage/relationships:

1. Why do we develop relationships?

     World view: to feel good about ourselves, b/c humans are social, to be known and loved… ME FOCUSED!

     Godly view: so that we may be built up, so that we may mature and grow… the more we grow the more sanctified we become (eph. 2:1-6,12-16). Getting married was a subconscious win-win situation for me. I would never have said it, but i love me… and he loves me. So that’s a whole lot of ME loving 🙂 But that is wrong. i am being sanctified because marriage IS a mess… but it’s a mess worth making.

2. There are 4 qualities that will foster redemptive relationships:

     ~ Humility- i look at my own sins and failures and weakness before i look at yours.

     ~ Gentleness- having strengths and gifts bridled by the gospel so that they are used to empower, not OVERpower

     ~ Patience- how you hang in there with those sinning against you

     ~ Forbearance- how you hang in there with those who “annoy” you

3. The Trinity is the perfect relationship and social entity.

4. We also learned about communication, conflict and forgiveness.

         It’s funny how after only 6 months, i think that i know brian fully and that i have mastered this thing called marriage. Ha! We were among the “youngest” of all the marriages there! there was a couple married for 49 years! and they were still teasing each other and flirting. i want to be them when i grow up 🙂 

What i’m taking away: I love people. i pride myself on it. I’m a good pastors kid, so i love everybody. i stood before God and man and promised to love Brian til death parts us. He is so easy to love. That is until he annoys me to my breaking point and i lash out in anger! He is so easy to love, until he doesn’t meet my expectations and then i am disappointed.He is so easy to love until he hurts my feelings and then i am Smad (sad + mad = Smad). The point is… if i am so IN LOVE with brian, why is he hard to love sometimes? if it is hard to love my love, what about difficult people? i am NOT a one who loves well. But by the Lords grace i am learning.

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To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken… the only place outside heave where you can be perfectly safe from the dangers and perturbations of love is HELL! ~C.S. Lewis

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