I like what Andrew said last night about living a FAITH filled life. We are running a race. There is a goal.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:1-2
i used to journal a lot. i used to find so much solace in the words that came from my pen. but somewhere along the past year, i put away my pen. no real reason why, other than that i felt i needed more time in my day, and that was a way to gain at least 30 more minutes. but that was foolishness. i lost a part of my heart. it was forgotten. for there was no pen to proclaim the joys and sorrows of my heart. i am taking up that pen again. because life is not about me. it’s not about me. it’s not about me. i do not pick up the pen for any selfish reasoning. i grasp the pen to give our GOD the glory He deserves.
this is a journal entry from the summer of 2005, a life-changing difficult summer, that was particularly poignant to me this morning. partly because i still need to be reminded that the sun is there above the foggy haze, and also to give GOD the glory for meeting me where i was and giving me eyes to see the goal… his promise!
Aug 27, 2005
“Hope fills the afflicted soul with such inward joy and consolation that it can laugh while tears are in the eye, sigh and sing all in one breath; it is called the rejoicing of hope”- William Gurnall
My hope is changing and renewing each day. The hopes I have at sunrise are vastly different at sunset. Why? Because the lord is continually renewing his purposes for me. He is teaching me every minute, of every day. Today I awoke in the sun. I mean really in it. She rose slowly and shyly. Almost embarrassed of her beauty. The sun woke me up in all her blushing radiance. Like a small child hiding behind her father’s legs, the sun seemed timid to greet the world. Then, in an instant, she gained her confidence and displayed her full beauty and glory. The sky erupted in pink and orange and yellow. She knew that the father she hid behind was her creator. He is in all things and he created her for his purpose…a beauty to be shared. Not that the sun hasn’t had her fair share of troubles. But without these clouds in her life, her radiance could never be displayed. Without clouds in her life, there would be nothing to reflect the light. My prayer is that the Lord is using this to reflect his light. I pray that these clouds, however painful, will, in turn, present those I meet with the amazing and joyous sight of a woman following her creator. A woman who doesn’t need to hide in shame or fear, but one who is confident in her beauty as a creation of the lord most high. I will never be the same that I was before. And I don’t want to be the same. For who would suffer wandering in the desert for 40 years only to turn away from the Promised Land because the past is more comfortable, more familiar. No! When the promise comes into view you run straight for it with reckless abandon! I am coming to an understanding of who I am in Christ. My vision is beginning to clear. Though the thunderhead clapped and it brought a storm of monsoon dimensions, the rain is beginning to clear. Someday, I hope, the rain will stop completely, the sun will shine through, and a rainbow will emerge. Until that day I am learning to swim in this flooded water. Right now all I can see is the water below me, which is continually being fed by the water falling from above me. My eyes leak and my heart bleeds adding to each mounting wave. But someday the waters will recede, and I will stand on dry ground. I will not be overcome. This is my promise.