ps- i have updated my etsy.com shoppe (click here) for those of you who are interested. Lots more to come!
Monthly Archives: November 2008
i don’t know why i don’t say that more. Or even THINK that more. I mean seriously, if the guy cares about the sparrows, so why do i worry so much? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Sometimes i can be so foolish about thinking i have to figure out my life and get everything in order and THEN i can trust the Lord when he says it will all be okay. And when things aren’t going exactly how i plan then i freak out. Well, i am listening to the voice that is telling me that if i just calm down and honestly TRUELY trust in HIM alone, then i will be exactly where i need to be… in His will. And there is no better place than that. So it doesn’t matter is we have car problems and barely enough money to pay rent and jobs are hard. we are in his plan. we are trusting. so i am not going to be afraid to fly. we will fly through the air and enjoy the sight and live the life because it is a gift. And the best part is, not only will he provide, it will be so much better than i can think or ask. how great is that? i have been worrying about what i should do. i am not stoked about teaching. It has been hard to find subbing jobs. and we are getting low on money. I am jazzed by photography and would love to get involved in making money for taking photos. but i have no idea how to get started in that. This morning, i was having quite a hard time thinking through all of this and was so discourage. then out of the blue my wedding photographer (jeff stone) called and asked me if i would be willing to assist him in some upcoming weddings. he would teach me and train me and i would get paid! it was like the Lord was like… “o so you don’t think i can give you the best? i’m your daddy! of course i want to give you what you want. you just have to trust me and let me do the details!” i love Him! HERE I FLY!
why is it always easier to be mad at someone you love? shouldn’t it be easy to love someone you love?
Lets see. Brian and i have been together for over 2 years now. The means 2 years of love and friendship… and car trouble! I am using the event of this morning to do 2 of my favorite past-times: complaining and making lists. From day one, we have had more car related problems. I’ve always wondered how many. so i’m making a list (but i’m not going the check it twice…. i’m not feeling particularly christmasy right now…. which really shows how sad i am…. i ALWAYS love christmas…. and i’m not going to lie, talking about christmas really is making me feel better 🙂 but on to the list!
1. Two weeks before we started dating i lost my keys somewhere on the farm at the CO harvest party. Baja stayed and helped me look with a flash light and when we couldn’t find them, he stay until the locksmith made me a new set of keys.
2. we have locked my keys IN the car 3 times. We have had to call AAA 3 times to get the keys out.
3. Brian’s car was broken into while at the buck watching a movie. we came out and the windows were smashed and the center console punched in. sad.
4. Mindy’s jeep (charlie) broke down on the side of the road in january when it was -7 degrees out and had to wait for brian and AAA for 30 mins. brrrrr!
5. While driving home from a bible study there was construction on the freeway so we slowed down to a stop. We were then rear ended by a drunk driver going 45 mph. Brian’s car was totaled.
6. The battery died in Mindy’s car when we used it to light up a broomball game. We had to wait and be towed by AAA.
7. Something is wrong with the transmission in Brian’s car, so multiple times it just dies while driving. So you have to put it into neutral and start the engine again… all while still moving! ah! This happened several times on our way home from Colorado (where his dad lives and gave us the car)
8. Being stranded somewhere in the middle of nebraska and waiting at a Cracker Barrel for a couple hours cus the car wouldn’t start. Eventually it did and we didn’t stop again still we got home!
9. this morning, when brian was getting in the car to go to work, realized that the ignition had been tampered with and the steering console punched in and the car had been moved back 4 feet. They must have gotten in and got it started and tried to steel it but realized they couldn’t steer the car anymore. duffus! but sad for us 😦
So far i think the only car problem we haven’t had is running out of gas. But we are low on fuel and money…. so i’ll keep you posted! ha ha
I like what Andrew said last night about living a FAITH filled life. We are running a race. There is a goal.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:1-2
i used to journal a lot. i used to find so much solace in the words that came from my pen. but somewhere along the past year, i put away my pen. no real reason why, other than that i felt i needed more time in my day, and that was a way to gain at least 30 more minutes. but that was foolishness. i lost a part of my heart. it was forgotten. for there was no pen to proclaim the joys and sorrows of my heart. i am taking up that pen again. because life is not about me. it’s not about me. it’s not about me. i do not pick up the pen for any selfish reasoning. i grasp the pen to give our GOD the glory He deserves.
this is a journal entry from the summer of 2005, a life-changing difficult summer, that was particularly poignant to me this morning. partly because i still need to be reminded that the sun is there above the foggy haze, and also to give GOD the glory for meeting me where i was and giving me eyes to see the goal… his promise!
Aug 27, 2005
“Hope fills the afflicted soul with such inward joy and consolation that it can laugh while tears are in the eye, sigh and sing all in one breath; it is called the rejoicing of hope”- William Gurnall
My hope is changing and renewing each day. The hopes I have at sunrise are vastly different at sunset. Why? Because the lord is continually renewing his purposes for me. He is teaching me every minute, of every day. Today I awoke in the sun. I mean really in it. She rose slowly and shyly. Almost embarrassed of her beauty. The sun woke me up in all her blushing radiance. Like a small child hiding behind her father’s legs, the sun seemed timid to greet the world. Then, in an instant, she gained her confidence and displayed her full beauty and glory. The sky erupted in pink and orange and yellow. She knew that the father she hid behind was her creator. He is in all things and he created her for his purpose…a beauty to be shared. Not that the sun hasn’t had her fair share of troubles. But without these clouds in her life, her radiance could never be displayed. Without clouds in her life, there would be nothing to reflect the light. My prayer is that the Lord is using this to reflect his light. I pray that these clouds, however painful, will, in turn, present those I meet with the amazing and joyous sight of a woman following her creator. A woman who doesn’t need to hide in shame or fear, but one who is confident in her beauty as a creation of the lord most high. I will never be the same that I was before. And I don’t want to be the same. For who would suffer wandering in the desert for 40 years only to turn away from the Promised Land because the past is more comfortable, more familiar. No! When the promise comes into view you run straight for it with reckless abandon! I am coming to an understanding of who I am in Christ. My vision is beginning to clear. Though the thunderhead clapped and it brought a storm of monsoon dimensions, the rain is beginning to clear. Someday, I hope, the rain will stop completely, the sun will shine through, and a rainbow will emerge. Until that day I am learning to swim in this flooded water. Right now all I can see is the water below me, which is continually being fed by the water falling from above me. My eyes leak and my heart bleeds adding to each mounting wave. But someday the waters will recede, and I will stand on dry ground. I will not be overcome. This is my promise.
1. the first snow that sticks.
2. Fabulous cups of Coffee a Fabulous coffee shops with Fabulous friends 🙂
3. Listening to Tommy Dorsey & Frank Sinatra on my record player
4. Sitting in front of the fireplace snuggled up with a good book… or THE good book 🙂
5. The plethora of drinks and decor at Starbucks (and caribou)
6. The endless board games with my fabulous husband (of course i win!)
7. All the lights are brighter this time of year
8. The holidays in general are just great
9. This song makes me happy…. in fact Sondre Lerche just makes me happy 🙂
10. Studying the bible with Brian. I love being married for all it’s ups and downs and for how much he shows me Jesus daily! i love you Brian